If I Only Had a Brain

I would have to say that the absolute hardest adjustment that I've had to make in motherhood is to how SCATTERBRAINED I am! Why didn't anyone warn me about this???? I read parenting books, pregnancy books, attended classes, spoke to lots of experienced mothers. Nowhere did anyone mention that I was going to become brain dead upon giving birth. When I mention it to people now they all respond the same way: "Oh yeah! That's totally normal! I'm the same way!" Well, I'm here to tell any of you who haven't entered parenthood yet, that.... you will probably become brain dead upon giving birth.

Let me give you an example glimpse into my stream of thoughts at any given moment . Please don't skip through this. I want you to truly feel my pain :) haha:

Where is Kiera's binky? Did I leave the keys in the car? Lexi forgot one basketball shoe so I need to take it to her at school, if Kiera doesn't wake up in the next 30 minutes I'll be late for the meeting with the bank, I still can't find the binky! maybe I should bake muffins for tomorrow's playgroup, I wonder how much homework Lexi will have tonight, and when is her next orthodontist appointment? When will Kiera need to be fed again? Will I be in a convenient place? Am I wearing a shirt that I can easily feed her in? Have I remembered to pull my shirt back up from my last feeding? (And yes, I have forgotten more than once.) Where is that damn binky?!?!?!? Jeff asked me to remind him that Friday is trash day, so I need to remember to remind him, what day of the week is it? Did I pay the mortgage, Kiera is awake! Kiera is crying! oh.... I had the binky in my pocket that whole friggen' time!

Although it's annoying, I've been able to find humor in it lately. The other day, we were getting ready to head out the door and Jeff tried to be "helpful" by putting my phone in his pocket so I wouldn't forget it . He then watched me run up and down the stairs repeatedly (desperately looking for it.) I was too embarrassed to admit that I had, AGAIN, lost my phone, so he had no idea why I was running around for 10 minutes. When I finally confessed that I'd lost it again, he casually said, "oh! I put it in my pocket!" Ugh. I had to laugh and inform him that that was the opposite of helpful.

I lose everything and I think about everything and I'm confused about everything. I usually forget to eat more than once a day. I'm embarrassed to say that I typically wear the same make up for 2 days in a row (gross, I know.) The only thing that I seem to do right, without much thought, is paying attention to the relationships in my life - being a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, and a friend. It's not like I have superpowers, but it is just where 99.9% of my focus is... which would explain why I'm so scattered in every other aspect of my life.

SO! To help both Kiera and I relax, we attended our first mommy/baby yoga class. I'd say that she found it very relaxing since she was asleep after only 20 minutes of class. It was nice to get some yoga in myself while also interacting with her. We're looking forward for the next chance to go.

Kiera's yoga buddy (Adele)

Kiera took an early Shivasana

It turns out that all of Kiera's toes are the same length... like monkey feet :) I love them!

A new development! She can occasionally pick things up and put them in her mouth :)

A Reason to Celebrate

This holiday season was one to remember! Not only was it Kiera's 1st, but we also made our family complete by getting married on New Years Eve.

We made an effort to have a more low key Christmas this year. The focus was on family and spending quality time with each other rather than on spending money. It was so nice to just give and get a few quality gifts rather than mounds and mounds of.... well..... crap :) Everything came from the heart including a photo collage that Lexi and I made for Jeff. I think that we liked making it for him just as much as he liked getting it!

My favorite gift this year was that Emily decorated Kiera's nursery as a treehouse. She really has a gift. It was tons of work and I will love it forever. She and Justin did tons of prep work at their house and then, when I wasn't home, they came to the house and assembled everything with Jeff. It really can't be described in words, but I can tell you that portions of REAL tree trunks and branches come up from the ground and sprawl over Kiera's crib with a leaf mobile. One one wall their are family pictures mounted onto wood planks up on the wall. The other wall has a night sky painted onto it with a fiberoptic light system of stars. I will have to upload pictures in the next blog so that you can really see how amazing it is!

Friends and family joined us on New Years Eve at our restaurant as we celebrated our marriage. Our wedding was...absolutely PERFECT. The ceremony was beautiful, meaningful, and memorable. Jeff may have proposed in April, but we literally planned the details of our wedding in less than 1 month. We considered having a huge blow out wedding next Fall, but after Kiera was born in September, we decided that we wanted to have a simple and special night that keeps the focus in all the right places. We were just anxious to make our family official. I couldn't be happier with how it all turned out. We are so fortunate to own a restaurant that offered the perfect setting.

The highlights of our ceremony included Kiera's adorable handmade tutu dress and peacock feather headband, Taylor's live performance of "Bless the Broken Road," Megan's reading of "One Day," lots of sniffles from us and just about everyone there, Jeff reading his vows from his iphone (naturally... he loves that thing!) and my vows to both Jeff and Lexi. Our wedding was about the commitment that Jeff and I have to each other, but I thought that it was important to make a few promises to Lexi as well. She is just as important and deserves to know that I am committed to her too. She got teary eyed, which of course made me teary eyed!

The reception was a blast. It began with good food, conversation, and lots of pictures, and ended with a crazy dance party until 2:00 am. I think that the most hilarious part is that we didn't plan to do any of the "formal" wedding activities, like a 1st dance, but when the dancing began, we ended up having our 1st dance to "Poker Face" by Lady GaGa. How perfect! After about an hour of reception excitement, Kiera went to sleep in the apartment behind the cafe. We hooked up a video monitor up front to be sure that she was safe while we all partied the night away. The power went out all over Bar Harbor for about 2 hours at about 10:30, but the many candles and emergency lights kept us out of the dark. We counted down to midnight with lots of champagne and no power, which was memorable. We rung in the new year surrounded by so many amazing friends.

As always, an event like that couldn't take place without help from so many people. I should give a shout out to Peter and Christina for letting us use Leary's Landing to take group photos AND for doing a million other things (too many to list) - you guys were incredibly helpful, Taylor for performing during our ceremony, Megan for reading, Erica for being an all around amazing friend/helper/toast giver, mom and John for babysitting Kiera when we needed to run around, Julienne and Justin for making our cake topper, Kim for making some yummy food and whoopie pies, Jean for altering dresses and making Kiera's head band, Sharon for performing our ceremony, Emily and Lexi for standing by us, and the Side Street Cafe staff for preparing delicious food and offering such great service, Queen Anne's for transforming the cafe with flowers and decor, and Roberto's Salon for transforming us girls!

I asked Jeff, "If you could change one thing about that night, what would it be?" Without missing a beat he admitted that he wished Serena had been there. She was in Florida with her mom, and was greatly missed. These are the moments that you can't get back, and having her there was really important to both of us. I don't think that he ever imagined that he would get married without both of his daughters standing by him.

We don't have our professional photos yet, but these came from my mom and Peter. They got some great shots.

The decorative theme was peacock feathers. Christina got these awesome masks in New Orleans. Everyone loved them.

Best Friend - Thanks for giving us a toast and for being a great help

2010 will be your year! xoxoxoxoxo

Baby Kiera before the ceremony... just being cute.

Our gorgeous daughters.

Great Friends! You helped to make our night perfect - thank you!

During the ceremony - we were all a little emotional

My love.

Dance Party!

Christina and Mom

The late night crowd

Warning: Mushiness Ahead.

The end of the year always makes me reflective and 2009 has given me a lot to think about, remember, and be thankful for.

This New Year will also bring a new decade. The past 10 years will probably go down in my personal history as the most eventful of my life. I graduated from high school and college, survived relationships, found best friends in my mother and my sister, learned some very hard lessons, made tough decisions and career changes, loved and lost pets, loved and lost my Aunt Beth, learned who my true friends are, and so on. 10 years ago I didn't know who I was and I was busy trying to impress whomever happened to be popular in that moment.

Today, I love who I have become and where my life has brought me. I must say that this end-of-year reflection is WAY more enjoyable than some of the past. In fact, I think that it may be my favorite year of my life. That's right! 27 has taken the number one spot and it has bumped 20 years old down to the number two spot! It seems fitting that I will end this year and begin the new decade by marrying the love of my life.

There are times when I just want to tell Lexi, "none of this crappy drama that you are going through right now will mean anything in 10 years. You won't even remember it!" It's true that she may not remember the specifics 10 years from now, but this "crappy drama" is an important part of her life. Learning how to handle mean girls, boy issues, and difficult teachers with grace and honesty NOW is what is going to make her a strong and well-rounded individual in adulthood. The fun times in life are fun, but it's the difficult times that shape who we are.

We're looking forward to Kiera's first Christmas! She loves to stare at the Christmas tree lights and to sit in her new Bumbo Chair (shown in the photo above.) For the 1st year in my life I TRULY just want to share time with my friends and family for Christmas. In fact it's been really difficult to do any Christmas shopping when gifts seem to be pretty meaningless this year.

Being a mother has officially made me selfless. I no longer go into a store and look for a shirt for myself... I look for a warm hat for Kiera, a cute jacket for Lexi, or new socks for Jeff. I don't go out for dinner multiple times/week anymore, I gladly base my schedule around Kiera's feedings and look for Lexi's favorite yogurt at the grocery store. It's been the most natural and enjoyable change of my life. I'm genuinely living for my family. And I guess that I'm just realizing (as I write this) that it's possible for Jeff and I to care so much for the girls because we are also meeting each others needs. I'm always thinking of his needs and he's always thinking of mine.... so we don't need to be selfish anymore.

WOW! I almost gagged myself with all of this mushiness, but I can't help it. It's very overwhelming to have this experience for the first time in my life. So I will spare you all anymore sap and just cut to the photos. Thanks for bearing with me!

Lexi, Jeff, and Kiera in Times Square during our Thanksgiving vacation

The cutest 2 month old in Times Square!

Kiera and Mike at our Bachelor / Bachelorette Party

Erica enjoying some Kiera time at the same party

Kiera is either snuggling or sniffing Daddy's armpits

Belly Time!

Catching Up

So much time has passed since my last post, but it just feels like life has been a little hectic these days. Snow has started falling and Jeff's Birthday, Christmas, our wedding, and year-end taxes are ALL within 3 week away. Strap on a 10 week old baby and a business that needs to be run and you have me..... slightly stressed. Of course, it is 3 pm on a blizzardy day and I am writing from the comfort of my pajamas, so it can't be that bad!

There is over a foot of snow on the ground and Jeff, Kiera, and I spent the day in our PJs taking a family nap by the fire. Lexi had a 1/2 day at school and she just got home to enjoy the laziness with us. I guess that you have to seize these opportunities when they present themselves.

Perhaps our biggest news is that we spent Thanksgiving in Virginia with my mom (or as Kiera calls her: "Memere" - which is the French word for Grandma.) The 4 of us piled into the new Suburban and headed on a "13 hour" trek down South. For the record... a 13 hour trip with a baby ends up being more like 16 or 17 hours. We left at 9 pm Friday night and arrived at Mom's at about 1 pm on Saturday. It was all worth it when we got there. Our trip was a nice balance between relaxing around mom's house and shopping/sightseeing in Washington D.C. We stopped in New York City on the way back home and Kiera got her 1st experience in Central Park and Times Square!

As the end of the year approaches I realize what a turning point it has been in my life. I was looking through my journal and I found an entry from New Year's Day of this year. Jeff, Emily, and I spent New Year's Day lounging around the house just laughing and relaxing. We didn't leave the house once but still had the best time. I wrote, "if the rest of the year is as great as today, I am in for a treat." 16 days later, Jeff and I found out that we were going to have a baby! We also managed to get engaged, start a business, have a baby, take multiple trips, and soon get married! 2009 has been my most eventful year to date.

I had so much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for my old family and my new family. Thankful for a stepdaughter I love like my own, so many opportunities to laugh, snowstorms, yummy coffee, sharing a glass of wine with friends, a sister who makes me laugh until I cry, my mom who taught me how to be a mother, everything about Jeff, and every single moment that I have with Kiera. This list could go on for hours, but everything just feels right.

Serena is still living with her mom and isn't interested in seeing us. It makes me so sad that she is missing out on this time with Kiera and the upcoming wedding. It will only happen once in life and it goes by so quickly. I had imagined that our whole family would be present and involved in the wedding, but it doesn't look like that will happen. It isn't easy being a 14 year old girl... I know first hand. We are just trying to trust that it will all work out in the end and that she will get it one day.

Lexi has had a few basketball games and I love to go watch. She is playing on both A team and B team and is doing so well so far. It's so fun to see how she improves from year to year. Kiera also loves to watch her big sister play. I strap her into the front pack for the games, but it isn't long before she makes her way out to play with everyone.

Here are some photos from the past few weeks. As always, I phone pictures come out pretty crappy, but the sentiment behind them is what matters....Enjoy!

Kiera with some of my cousin's children. I guess that makes them 3rd cousins? From left: Ashley, Elijah, Kiera, Caleb

They are trying to look calm but they are terrified of the giant peacock over their heads

Aunt Emo and Kiera - loving life!

Memere has a serious Farmville addiction. This was in the wee hours of the morning when her farm needed emergency fertilization!

Snuggly Snuggly - my favorite part of every day.

Out by the bonfire at Memere's house

Lights Out

Things are changing in the life of Kiera Young and those of us who live with her. We have never really forced a routine or schedule, letting her sleep, wake, and eat whenever she felt like it. I figured that her routine would emerge in time... and it has! I'm beginning to see the morning nap and the afternoon nap and also BEDTIME!!!! Bedtime is my personal favorite because it gives us all a chance to wind down from whatever kind of day we have had. Previously there was no specific end to the day when we could just take breath, have a glass of wine, and talk like adults.

With the bedtime we are finding that it's harder to go out in the evening to social events with friends or dinner. Just tonight, we had to cancel plans with friends because we saw that it was creeping into Kiera's bedtime (7pm) and that we were pushing our luck. By "pushing our luck" I mean that she was screaming her head off. As soon as we got back in the house and had her laying on her sheepskin she was much happier. No one ever said that having a baby meant dinners out and cocktail parties, so we kinda expected that this day would come :) We ended up having a nice night at home eating pizza with Lexi.

We joke that Jeff has a PhD in "swaddling" and that he could go on to teach college courses in the art of the baby swaddle. It is a key part of getting Kiera to sleep at night or to calm down when she's crying. Here is a photo of Jeff's artwork. You will see that Kiera looks like a deer in headlights because she knows that there is no getting out of this one!

On another happy note, Lexi has started basketball practice, which can only mean that basketball GAMES are just around the corner!!! This is by far my favorite school sport to watch and I'll keep everyone updated on her team's success.

We had a great weekend spent with family. Below are some photos of Kiera getting lots of love. We're enjoying every minute with her, but I'm so looking forward to seeing her learn to smile. She is 7 weeks old today :)

Good Work Ethic

Kiera and I attended our 1st Mommy / Baby Playgroup together! It was great to connect with other mom's in the area. I knew just about everyone, but it was nice to meet some new people as well. There were 9 or 10 of us moms... all but one of us with girls! Sherridy brought her newborn son Lucas - what a lucky guy. He will grow up hanging out with all of these cool chicks :)

After the playgroup, Kiera and I headed off to work where Kiera got to watch her mommy run around like a chicken with her head cut off. I knew that it was a little risky to bring her to work when I was the only one there. I hadn't pumped any milk, so I knew that if she got hungry, I could potentially be serving food with a baby latched on (kidding!)

As expected, Kiera woke up wanting to eat at the same time that the rest of Bar Harbor wanted to eat. My friend Holly happened to come in just when I needed her. I was able to feed Kiera and direct Holly in where things were while she took food orders, delivered drinks, and served the food for me. What good timing! Luckily it is a pretty laid back cafe and most people found it more entertaining than annoying.

Long story short.... I learned a lesson and Kiera learned some good work ethic. My parents made me get a job and start paying for many of my own things when I was 14. It was annoying at the time, but now I am grateful that I learned how to work while most kids were busy being lazy all summer.

I hope that Kiera can grow up knowing that it is important to work for what you have and to appreciate what you are given. Maybe I will take her to work more often.... but with a bottle of pumped milk next time! haha

This photo above shows Kiera in a milk coma, after the craziness, at the cafe. She really is such a good girl!

Jeff and I have been a little under the weather the past few days. Nothing serious, but we have just needed some backup. LEXI has come to the rescue on more than one occasion. It's so nice to see how much she cares about Kiera and is willing to help us out when we need it! Here she is giving the baby a bottle for the 1st time.

I love how relaxed Kiera is in this photo.

I Love My Little Pea in the Pod!

What a great weekend! We celebrated Kiera's 1st Halloween by dressing her up as a pea in a pod and taking her on the Hall Quarry Hay Ride that Jeff has been running for the past few years. Unfortunately, she only made it to 2 houses for trick or treating before she decided that she was miserable and wanted out. Luckily we were able to take a few photos before and during her complete meltdown. My cousin Jean made the costume - she is so talented! Sorry Jean, but you may be finding yourself on costume duty for years to come unless you can pawn the task off on Emily or my mom :) We so appreciate the time that you put into making Kiera's first costume.

Halloween is such a special and nostalgic time for Emily and I. Aunt Beth used to throw a big Halloween bash every year, and while we were too young to attend them growing up, we loved her enthusiasm for the holiday. She put her heart and creativity into her costume each year and we like to carry on her spirit for the occasion. Emily is probably one of the most creative people I know and I rely on her every year to help me pull a costume together. This year she did not disappoint! I can honestly say that I am sad at the end of each Halloween when I have to wait an entire year to dress up in one of her designs again.

Here are some photos from this year. Emily is Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Carribean..... obviously. She looks freakishly like him, and it was so cool to see her complete transformation take place. I went as a cave woman - Emily created my dress, club, hair, everything!

It was my very 1st night leaving Kiera at home (aside from one night when I had to go to work for a few hours.) It felt really funny to be away from her, but I appreciated the time and was able to have so much fun! Jeff was amazing and generous, as always, by staying home to take care of her all night. I will post some better photos soon so that everyone can TRULY appreciate how much Emily looked like Jack Sparrow.

Lastly, we went on a LOOOONNNNGGGG walk today with Grammie Di. We started out at Eagle Lake and planned to just turn around after a mile or 2, but ended up walking the 6 mile distance around the lake! My legs feel like they may just fall off. I love that we live in an area with access to a National Park. It is so unbelievably gorgeous!